By Jasmine McRae
Jasmine sets to share her newfound and honest insight into the mysterious world of teatoxes.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt self-conscious about your body. I know I have. As young women we almost feel expected to try every diet, workout routine or new fitness fad in the book. And where does it leave us? Skint and frustrated at our lack of results.
I delved into the mystical world of Detox Teas at the end of last year. I was absolutely desperate for that summer bod; looking and feeling fabulous. Teatoxes are usually between £20 and £50, depending on the brand, the length of time you’ll be using them, and whether they contain any special ingredients or supplements too.
Hunting for a bargain, I ended up on the TeaMi website; a company that specialises in the topic. They have teas for everything: metabolism boosts, better sleep, increasing your cognitive function (no, really), and weight loss. Their basic weight loss teatox program costs an eye-watering £49.99 and comes with two bags. One contains the Skinny Tea, which claims to energise you, reduce hunger and increase fat burning. The other is the Colon Tea, which literally just makes you need to crap. A lot.
I had really high hopes. Well, if you spend the equivalent of a fortnight’s food shop on a few tea bags, you will want a decent product, right?
In all honesty, I enjoyed the Skinny Tea aspect of the detox. I loved the taste, but I love green tea anyway, so I was winning from the beginning. Although, I didn’t feel like suddenly running a marathon, nor I did see any fat burned. I still felt like I needed my usual pint of coffee in the mornings to get me going. So minimal effect really.
And then it was the Colon Tea. These teas, no matter what brand you buy, are essentially laxatives, and need to be drank before bed. The adverts say that they ‘cleanse’ your body, but it’s really more like some sort of lava that flush out of your system. hated it. It tasted awful; hints of black liquorice and overtones of dishwater. Precisely eight hours after you drink it, you’ll need to be within about two meters of a toilet, which isn’t ideal if you have things to be doing the next morning.
It took me about three weeks of suffering with through this Teatox to realise that it was just another fad. There are countless manipulative (read: sponsored) Insta-famous girls brandishing their tea infusers on social media. Companies like this just exploit our insecurities, and want us all to spend £50 for a ‘quick-fix’. It really doesn’t work.
I gave up the Teatox, and although it was heart-wrenching to chuck it in the bin, I am actually so much happier. My sleeping pattern is back to normal, which is working wonders for my mood and focus in day to day life. Eating healthily and moving more is making some of those extra pounds shift a little bit.
But the best part? Being able to leave my house to get to university, or even go for a jog, without having to lock myself in the toilet.