Guest Writers, lifestyle, Mental Health

“I Wished I Wasn’t Me” – overcoming self-doubt

Sometimes you have to be completely honest with yourself, and sometimes you learn something new. Helene moved to London and went on a journey of self exploration. Now she shares it with the Skint readers.
Text: Helene Fritz

Some days I wished I wasn’t me. I wished I was someone who wouldn’t worry so much about everything, or needed to overthink every little detail. It is exhausting. It takes a lot of energy to constantly worry. I have always been this way, though I just realised it more recently.

While it was so hard to acknowledge all my flaws, all the wrong turns I’ve taken, there is nothing I would take back. All these decisions I shouldn’t have made, the moments I should have behaved different, and all the little things I don’t like about myself, they all led me to the moment I could finally start to take my life in my own hands. There was a moment where I suddenly did not think “the world is cruel”, or “why is this happening to me” anymore.

At one point I realised I could do so much more than sit around and complain about everything. I realised I am not a victim of life. Though that is how I felt: Like a victim. When this thought is in your head for long enough, you start believing it. It is a long way from being led by life to leading your own life. There was a point I realised I am worth so much more than I thought. I used to think I deserve sadness. And that men deep inside didn’t want me, when they said they did. Or that I deserve people who didn’t really care about me. An endless disappointment. I thought I deserved all this. And I guess that was my mistake.

This past year was not always easy, but it was so eyeopening and I have learned and experienced more about myself than I ever did before.
It all started when I moved to London. I was beyond excited, for this new life, and even though I hoped for much, for the first time, I didn’t put myself under pressure. I tried to take things however they came, and I think this is what made it so easy for me in the beginning.
Whenever you expect, you put pressure on yourself as well as your surrounding. It lies within your emanation and the people you surround yourself with will feel it and act towards it. And I always expect things. From my self, from the people I around me, from life. I have this idea how things should work, and that is my mistake. In spite of my personal perception, this is not how life works. Whenever things don’t turn out the way I wanted it to, I get so disappointed and sad, and it is so hard to not let this disappointment out onto other people. I learned that the real key is to let things be. To accept everything the way it comes. Because life will come, no matter what. I just always thought the only right solution to respond to life is a negative one. A self-pitying, the “glass is half empty”-respond. I never learned that there was a another way to face the bad, (and also the good) things in life. To take the good with the bad.

Maybe this is faith, maybe it is confidence, maybe it is innate in some people, but for me it took a whole lot of time, disappointment, tears and work to finally get to the point, where I believed that I deserved a good life.

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Guest Writers, Music

Live Review: Savages slays it at o2 Brixton Academy

By Casey Cooper-Fiske

Anglo-French band prove they’re ready for bigger venues and larger crowds. 

Savages’ career began, like many others, with small scale gigging around local venues in East London, bringing a similar aesthetic to Placebo with perhaps a little more charm. When they first arrived on the scene in 2011, they were branded pretentious by many. This didn’t seem to phase the band however, naming their debut album Silence Yourself and slapping an essay of a mission statement on the cover.  The accusations of pretention were not helped by the signs put out by the band telling the live audience not to record anything, as they felt it prevented the audience from “Totally immersing themselves” (Probably true).

With the release of the band’s second album, Adore Life, Savages appeared to attempt just that with drummer Fay Milton exclaiming to DIY Magazine “We did humour”! Lead singer Jehnny Beth has previously shown an unwillingness to become involved with this entertaining take.
Tonight at Brixton Academy however, at their biggest live show to date,  the whole band appear to be in ‘Adore’ mode, giving a powerful and mo14572866_1284896278209733_3515798406451558810_nving performance from start to finish.

“I am here, no more fear”, Jehnny Beth, a.k.a. Camille Berthomier, boldly proclaims as the band announce their arrival on stage with the fitting ‘I Am Here’. The band’s rhythm section acts as torch in the dark, guiding Jehnny Beth’s vocals through the gloomy clouds of feedback from Gemma Thompson’s guitar mastery. As the song reaches its crescendo, Thompson’s guitar turns to thunder aliening with t
he line “Are you coming for the ride”? We certainly are in for this ride.

As the band plow on through ‘Sad Person’ and ‘City’s Full’, it’s clear the audience have decided to take up Beth’s earlier proposal. They are all in. During the first three tracks, Beth casts her androgynous spell on the crowd as she glides around the stage and punches the air with anger.

The energy however seems to whimper a little as the band introduce a calmer track, suitably named ‘Slowing down the World’. Not a bad song by any means, however they have a lot more potent songs that were omitted from the evening. Songs with a similar tempo such as ‘Marshal Dear’ and ‘Waiting for a Sign’, missing from tonight’s setlist, would, most likely, be received with more enthusiasm from the audience.

Saying that all the slower material brought the evening down would be criminal, tough the band brings a more solemn tone as the end draws near. Double header of ‘Adore Life’ songs ‘Mechanics’ and ‘Adore’ stuns the audience into silence as Beth’s voice echoes around the Academy. ‘Adore’ is a particularly special moment, bringing tears from some members of the audience as Beth asks “Is it human to adore life”?

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Another special moment came as the rhythm section departed the stage, leaving only guitarist Thompson and frontwoman Beth to cover Marianne Faithful’s ‘Why’d Ya Do It?’. The two share a tense energy on stage, staring each other out, one seemingly tries to outdo the other. The two share a unique chemistry when left alone, one that seems part driven by equal amounts of aggression and adoration.

Fan favourites such as ‘The Answer’, ‘Shut Up’ and ‘Husbands’ are received raucously by the crowd. With the later showing the faultless bass playing of Ayse Hassan in all its glory, providing a nervy undertone as she skitters from fret to fret.

Breaking the barrier between band and crowd, Beth walks right into it on a path of hands provided by adoring fans. The climax comes during ‘No Face’ as she “have a message for all the young men in the room”,then proceeding to approach the young men of the audience, personally looming down on them with full on eye contact and an instructional point of a finger. Her message of equality and respect is delivered with a tone of voice which is part annoyed and part hopeful.

The thought provoking words of Jehnny Beth describes the tone of the night. Fused with the focused choreographed playing of bandmates, Hassan, Thompson and Milton, make for both an intense and emotional evening at the Academy. The only downfall being the setlist’s favour of accessible tracks, setting aside some of the band’s more interesting tunes. The evening is well rounded off as Savages is joined by support group Good, Sad, Happy, Bad for standalone single ‘Fuckers’, with its bouncy riff sending the more than satisfied crowd home filled with adrenaline.

Guest Writers, Music

French metal band Gojira release new monstrous single ‘Silvera’

I could fangirl about this band until the cows come home. Not that I’ve ever really understood that expression. What were the cows doing away from home? And why are they taking so long to get back?

Let’s not worry ourselves with deep questions like this and instead take the time to behold the epicness of this new single ‘Silvera’.

French death metal band Gojira have already made quite a name for themselves, sporting a wild live presence and creating some of the grooviest and heaviest riffs since Dimebag’s untimely passing. A metal band with a cause, Gojira have often shown a keen interest in environmentalism in the past, writing songs about global warming and plastic bags in the sea. However, this seems to have been tamed over the years in exchange for a more spiritual approach.

‘Silvera’, the band’s latest single, is set to appear on their upcoming album Magmaand is the second taster we’ve been given following previous single release ‘Stranded’. Overall, Gojira seem to be getting less proggy and more poppy, although not poppy in the sense that they’ll be teaming up with Drake any time soon. They’ve settled for a verse/chorus/verse/chorus approach whilst sounding catchier than they’ve ever sounded before. The metal elitists won’t like it, but me, I’m sold…

Entertainment, Guest Writers, Music

New York indie duo Diet Cig go on UK tour

Diet Cig – one of the best named bands you’ll hear in a while (with maybe the exception of Let’s Eat Grandma) – are currently on a big UK tour, the dates of which you can check out below.

The indie duo have already been heralded by the likes of The Guardian and NME, performing at SXSW last year. If you haven’t been introduced to their sonic splendour yet, check out the taster below, a charmingly down-to-earth love song that opens with these pretty lines: ‘I can’t play instruments very well and I eat all your cereal/ but I’ll never be a smoker cos the second cigarette makes me feel like shit’.

Fans in Brighton looking for a last minute gig can head down and see them tonight!

Guest Writers, Music

Emo Rock’s Revival- The Breaking Pattern

Heralded by the Huffington Post as ‘the face of the Phoenix emo revival movement’, these Arizona indie rockers come through with a fantastic sun-kissed lovelorn sound on this shimmering debut ‘There Are Roadmaps In Our Veins’.
The guitars are slathered in reverb, building up to explosive climaxes accompanied by Derek Hackman’s lovelorn and heartfelt vocals. Heartbreak fuels the lyrics.
‘The album is somewhat of a break-up album, chronicling the various stages of a doomed relationship from the moments leading up to the split until the resolution and recovery,’ explains Derek.
Triumphant track ‘Let love Go’ opens the album and sets the tone for the record. Other highlights include chugging ‘White Lie Black Market’ and anthemic ‘Act Natural’.
Stream the promo video for ‘Let Love Go’ below:


There Are Roadmaps In Our Veins is out April 8th.

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Written by a guest writer for Skint.