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To my ex

Ex’s.They all mean something to you, whether it was the ex who you used to cook with, the ex who made you cups of tea (but put the milk in first) or the ex who binged watched ‘Him and Her’ on Netflix over and over again with you – they all have left tokens of themselves.

There will never be a ‘right time’ to break up with someone, and it will be very rare there will be no emotional damage or arguments or tears– so what’s the point? Why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we get ourselves invested into someone knowing it will either end in sadness or you’ll stay together forever (and no, I don’t know which is more frightening)? I’ve had my fair share of exes, dates and regrets – and I think that’s the worst thing for me. I don’t regret any person I’ve been with; I regret how it has all ended. A lot of my break ups have been messy and I think my last break up was my biggest regret.

Not that I regret breaking up with him, I regret how it happened. We both made mistakes in the relationship and now I can see that – sadly I didn’t at the time (typical stubborn girlfriend) and it was a very messy ending with plenty of emotional damage, arguments and tears. After all that, I can barely look him in the eye anymore because, I miss him. Not the relationship,  I am happy and I don’t want to do anything to upset the harmony I have found, but I miss just talking to him; we were friends before anything happened and now he’s just a stranger and that’s what effects me most.

For someone to of once known everything about you down to your favourite toothpaste to not even looking at you, it’s hard. Don’t get me wrong, after a break up I would suggest not to talk to them for however long needed but to end it on the best terms you can is something I urge anybody to do – because I see this ex of mine every day at college and it makes my heart sink whenever I do. I am worried about him because he’s changed himself a lot since we finished (from what I’ve heard and seen, not in the best way either) and I can only blame me – and I’m sure he does too. It’s not a bad thing to think that, no matter who I’m with in the future, I’ll never lose all of what I felt for him, he changed me too.

The point of a relationship is simple, company. We all crave company and affection, we like to make other people happy and we like being happy ourselves. I urge anyone out there, anyone reading this skint magazine post about ex’s to just do what’s best for yourself and for god sake, be honest

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